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Friday, January 14, 2011

New Year, New You...New Relationship with your In-Laws

Maybe your new year's resolution was to get along better with your partner's family.  Family relationships make such a difference in our general well-being and happiness it's worth the time to try to make those relationships work, or in some cases at least be civil.  If you've struggled with in-law issues you'll enjoy our interview with Kelli Cooper author of Love the Unlovable: In-Laws.

What inspired you to write this book?
I began writing this as my own personal catharsis as I dealt with the stinging pain of trauma to my marriage caused by my in-laws. As I shared my story with a few friends, I realized that I was not alone in dealing with extremely difficult in-laws. When I understood how many other marriages were being torn apart by extended families, I was encouraged to write this book with the goal of helping even one other woman find freedom from her in-laws!

How can in-laws sabbatoge your relationship?
Well, anyone who has manipulative in-laws knows the "guilt trip" well. This is a snippet from my book that discusses the issue of exaggerations and guilt-trips:

" There are [also] the exaggerations that grow slowly over years. Shortly after Mike and I met, his mom told me that she was in labor with him for twenty-two hours. A few months after Mike and I announce we were having a baby, the topic came up in conversation again. Mike's mother told me she was in labor with Mike for twenty-six hours. After we had our first child and the situation had exploded, Mike's mother sent him a birthday card laden with guilt as she said that the thirty-six hours of hard labor were worth it for her. In just three years, her labor extended fourteen hours!"

What change can people hope for after reading your book?
Most importantly, people can hope for freedom from the guilt their in-laws have laid on them. There are certainly steps to take in making a relationship with one's in-laws better; however, there are times at which a relationship with one's in-laws is not possible to have. There is freedom in knowing that loving one's in-laws and having a relationship with them are two different things and it is possible to love them without having a relationship with them.

What is your background?
I speak from a heart of experience. I am a wife and mother, with nightmare in-laws! I have spent the last eleven years trying to figure out how to make a relationship with them work and even attended counseling for it! Beyond that, I hold a bachelor of arts degree in English and a master of science in education.

Do you have a way for people to connect with you or others going through similar situations?
Yes the website is:
I love to hear from my readers! I love to answer their questions and just let them have a place to blow off steam or vent! It is a place to connect with others in similar situations and even just laugh at each other's scenarios!

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