New Year, New You...New Relationship with your In-Laws

Maybe your new year's resolution was to get along better with your partner's family.  Family relationships make such a difference in our general well-being and happiness it's worth the time to try to make those relationships work, or in some cases at least be civil.  If you've struggled with in-law issues you'll enjoy our interview with Kelli Cooper author of Love the Unlovable: In-Laws.

What inspired you to write this book?
I began writing this as my own personal catharsis as I dealt with the stinging pain of trauma to my marriage caused by my in-laws. As I shared my story with a few friends, I realized that I was not alone in dealing with extremely difficult in-laws. When I understood how many other marriages were being torn apart by extended families, I was encouraged to write this book with the goal of helping even one other woman find freedom from her in-laws!

How can in-laws sabbatoge your relationship?
Well, anyone who has manipulative in-laws knows the "guilt trip" well. This is a snippet from my book that discusses the issue of exaggerations and guilt-trips:

" There are [also] the exaggerations that grow slowly over years. Shortly after Mike and I met, his mom told me that she was in labor with him for twenty-two hours. A few months after Mike and I announce we were having a baby, the topic came up in conversation again. Mike's mother told me she was in labor with Mike for twenty-six hours. After we had our first child and the situation had exploded, Mike's mother sent him a birthday card laden with guilt as she said that the thirty-six hours of hard labor were worth it for her. In just three years, her labor extended fourteen hours!"

What change can people hope for after reading your book?
Most importantly, people can hope for freedom from the guilt their in-laws have laid on them. There are certainly steps to take in making a relationship with one's in-laws better; however, there are times at which a relationship with one's in-laws is not possible to have. There is freedom in knowing that loving one's in-laws and having a relationship with them are two different things and it is possible to love them without having a relationship with them.


What is your background?
I speak from a heart of experience. I am a wife and mother, with nightmare in-laws! I have spent the last eleven years trying to figure out how to make a relationship with them work and even attended counseling for it! Beyond that, I hold a bachelor of arts degree in English and a master of science in education.


Do you have a way for people to connect with you or others going through similar situations?
Yes the website is:  http://www.lovetheunlovable.org/
I love to hear from my readers! I love to answer their questions and just let them have a place to blow off steam or vent! It is a place to connect with others in similar situations and even just laugh at each other's scenarios!

New Year....New You....Books for a fresh start

January is a great time for reading because all the bad weather makes you want to stay inside!  So why not take advantage of some extra down time and do something just for you.  Here are some of our favorite books for making 2011 the year you fall back in love with you!

The 4 Hour Body is by Timothy Ferriss the same author of The 4 Hour Work Week.

He spent ten years trying every diet, excercise program and nutrition supplement out there and has drilled down the information into a concise 571 page book.  This is for the hard core person who really wants to know more about the workings of their body, who might be looking to improve their performance in a sport or is really into diet and nutrition.  Most of the reviews on Amazon.com for the book are from those kinds of people.  There is a section called "how to sleep two hours a day and feel fully rested", which is worth the price of the book alone.  Having a six month old baby at my house makes sleep a serious issue for me!

Another book that hits home for me is Suzanne Somer's, Sexy Forever How To Fight Fat After Forty.  Who would think "Chrissy" would have had the longevity and business savy to become an expert on this!  If you don't know who Chrissy is then you are not 40 and should skip this book anyway!  Suzanne is known for her belief in healthy eating and understanding what you are truly putting into your body.  She is a big "label" reader on the foods you eat, and you will learn a lot about health and nutrition in this book that might surprise you.  Sometimes, we think we are eating healthy only to learn that ingredients in our "healthy" foods are actually hurting our chances at losing weight.  Plus, she doesn't just talk about food toxins, but also toxins in our daily lives from cleaners to our shampoo.  This is a great book for women that really want to learn about living a happier, healthier life.

In these tough economic times we can't have a great 2011 without addressing personal finances.  If you have seen Dave Ramsey on TV you know he's hard core about getting out of debt.  If you want to stop worrying about money and set yourself free from debt then you need to read his book, The Total Money Makeover. 

From Booklist Review:

His seven-step plan includes paying off all debts except the home mortgage at an accelerated speed, creating a financial safety net that covers three to six months' expenses, investing 15 percent of income in a retirement fund, and saving for children's college expenses. He effectively shows how regular people can rid themselves of debt and grow their wealth using current income. 

So there are three of our favorites for 2011.  What are you reading to get your head on straight in the new year?